HUNTER’S 100WC RE MARMITE…
My friend sits down for his lunch, he starts to eat his sandwich. He opens it up to see what spreading is in it.
“YAY! Marmite,” he shouts.
“Ewwwww Marmite is disgusting,” I say, “you should have Vegemite.”
“No,” he said, “I like Marmite.”
“Well,” I say, “You might like Marmite but it doesn’t mean it’s better. Which it’s not.”
My friend overreacts and throws a punch at me.
“IT IS!” he shouts
I start to giggle as he runs away.
Then the weird kid comes in and he says.
“I don’t know if you agree but I like jam.”
Hello hello. This is Kaylie from Mrs. Christiansen’s class. The plot of your 100 WC was very creative, and it was pretty funny. There were a few capitalization and quotation errors, but that isn’t a huge deal. The end was pretty unexpected but good nonetheless.
I would also like to say….
I am the weird kid who likes jam.
Hi i’m Sebastian. I like how you said that you’re with your friends, because I feel like that’s something I would do to. On thing you could fix is having less “I said” and have more unique stuff. I like how the weird kid likes jam, as that’s quite common in the US.
I really like how you wrote this! All of their dialogue is very clear, and it sounds like something that actual people would say. I think that you could possibly put in the character name in every once in awhile, rather than just “he.” Overall, though, this is very well written, and I enjoyed reading it!
Hi Hunter! I think that your 100 Word Challenge was really well written and I like how you included a mixture of text and dialogue in it. My only suggestion would be to elaborate a little more on certain aspects, such as why the “weird kid” randomly showed up and commented on the characters’ conversation. Otherwise, I thought that you used the prompt very well.
It is a great short story, I loved it!You had the best grammar and I apreciate that you added vegemite, I´ve never personally but I think its a nice touch.Next time try to add some more imagery, especially taste for these types of things.
It’s nice and funny. it’s pretty good, I like how you had dialogue.
I like how you incorporated Marmite into the lunch time, as that is the most usual place to put it into in a story. The dialogue is very interesting and It shows the relationship between the characters. But why did did the person have to throw a punch at him?
I think your story is funny. It is really detailed but I think it is unrealistic for someone to punch someone over marmite vs Vegemite. I think you did a great job for 100 words and this must have been hard to write.
Hi Hunter, this is a great 100 WC I hope you do more amazing work like this. Your writing is absolutely outstanding! Keep up the great work.