CIARA’S NUMBER 2 THIS WEEK, ON RED.
“Bang!” the deafening sound of balloons popping, a frightening noise filled my ears. This has NEVER happened before!
A blood RED balloon came drifting out of a large murky drain pipe, “Bang!” there it goes again, this time it was different though.
A large black figure emerges from the same drain that the RED balloon came from. I peered into the darkness trying to make out who this person was.
“Mu-haha” came a ghastly cackle, it’s eyes were piercing RED “Bang!” everything went dark.
“Did someone turn the lights off?” I sarcastically joke. “Not the time,” I mutter to myself.
Ciara, I never cease to be surprised by the way in which writers choose to use the prompt. This is super writing. I particularly like the way you pick yourself up for an inappropriate comment in the last paragraph. 🙂
Jackie (Team 100WC)
New Plymouth
This is an amazing story because it has so many adjectives in it .Next time you could use a semi colon.I would definitely recommend this to other people.Well done
Thank you for the feed back, I will try hard to include semi colons in my next piece of writing.
Ciara 🙂