RED, BY OLIVIA T.
I grip my knee tightly, but that doesn’t stop the relentless blood rapidly gushing out.
I look up, everything seems to be red, as I focus on just trying to stop the blood. I collapse to the ground.
I throw my backpack in front of me, I get out my jersey and miserably wrap it round my knee. Tears slowly travel down my face.
I watch my white jersey shockingly turn red. The fresh air suddenly turns upside down as the smell of blood takes over.
The stream of blood gets bigger as the glass goes deeper into my skin.
Hi Olivia T
You have done a great job. I like the descriptive words that you have used they are new in your writing and you have good punctuation. One thing you could do next time is add in some dialogue into your writing and it might be a bit more interesting. But overall a great piece of writing and I look forward to your next one.