IN BELLA’S HOUSE AT CHRISTMAS
Every year for Christmas, my family uses decorations from the previous years, but this year we got brand new decorations.
My Mum and I like to go with the traditional colours, green, red and white.Β
The lush, pine tree fills the corner of the room. We have Christmas carols, as we dance around the tree lopping the twinkling lights around the pointy branches.
βOne thing is missingβ I say to mum. I reach down into the box, pull out a big sparkly star. I hand it to mum and she reaches up and puts it on.
Wow it looks wonderful.
Such good work.
Hi Bella
This is a great and traditional piece of writing,
your word choice is great, I love how you say “The lush pine tree fills the corner”.
Keep it up
Isla
I love Christmas. Especially this story π¦π¦π¦πππ π»π€Άπ»
I think your story was very well written. I like your description of the decoration of the tree. I also like the use of your descriptive imagery. However, I feel the red ornament was a little underused. The subject is red after all. But overall you did a pretty good job.
Hi I love how you used descriptive words such as lush, pine, and sparkly. It help me to visualize how beautiful the tree was. I also like how you had a background story in the beginning to show what makes this year different. You could work on using more dialogue, but other than that, this was absolutely amazing!
Dear Bella,
I really liked your story! I also really like Christmas, so it made your story even better! One of the things I enjoyed about your story was the descriptive language about the tree.
From,
Eileen, Grade 5, Illinois, USA