CIARA GETS A BAD FEELING…
I could no longer see out the car window, the sun had disappeared and as the moon arose, we continued driving despite the conditions.
I was starting to get a bad feeling when we zoomed past a fluoro sign, “What did the sign say dad?” I ask.
“Oh it said dangerous conditions, but nothing to worry about they are everywhere.”
We took no notice of the sign.
A few moments later, our car started violently shaking, a huge lump came to my throat.
Suddenly massive boulders started rushing down the mountain above us, I knew we shouldn’t have kept going.
CIARA – YEAR 8
Wow Ciara I love your 100 WC! The part where you said ‘…violently shaking, a huge lump came to my throat…’. I really like part. It looks like you spent a lot of time writing this. I would love to know what happens next, maybe you can make a part two this week. Good job Ciara.
Olivia.
Dear Ciara,
Good job creating the setting and conveying the feelings of the narrator. I am very much concerned for the safety of the narrator and dad.
Keep writing!
Mrs. Silver
Team 100
Illinois, USA
Hi Rakau,
It’s Isabelle here. I thought your story was incredible. I really liked your use of tear 2 words and the description was amazing. Just one thing is that you missed a few bits of punctuation but that’s the only pointer I have for you.
This is my blog site if you wanted to visit:
isabelle567mps.edublogs.org