MADDY’S 100 WC.
Banana Black Heavy Jumped Damaged
As we pulled up to Mueller Hut, a rush of adrenalin took over my body. Dad held the heavy bag and I got the lightest one. 
It was so fun, we jumped over stems and went under branches. We were about halfway, so mum got the snacks out. She pulled a black banana out of the bag.
“It must have been damaged when I was jumping,” she said.
“We will have snacks when we get home,” dad said with a chuckle.
We finally made it back to the car.
What a fun and adventurous day.
MADDY – YEAR 8
Dear Maddy,
In the beginning you grasped me when it came to the word adrenaline. After that there was kind of a decline with the story I kind of wanted to know why were you so excited, like what was happening at the house. Other than that your story was decent.
Sincerely,
Brooklyn Netisingha
Great story, Maddy! You did a very good job at incorporating the words used for your prompt and using dialogue. One thing you could work on, though, is lining up your events because in the beginning you said that you had just pulled up to Mueller Hut but your characters were already leaving at the end. Other than that, amazing story!