IZAAC HAS A SAD STORY TO TELL.
Glass shattering everywhere, blood flying through the air and bricks crashing. The car goes straight into the roof.
“MUM, DAD!” I yell in panic. Searching through the debris in tears, but I find no one.
I hear faint breathing and moving, “Mum, Dad,” I say in a quiet voice.
“Izaac” says a deep raspy voice, “I’m over here”.
Ripping through the destruction I find my Dad. Dad is covered in gore and I start to whimper. I call the emergency services.
“I found her,” comes a voice. The ambulance paramedic checks her pulse but there is no sign of life.
IZAAC = YEAR 6
Wow! This is a really cool story, it starts out very intense and then it becomes calm. At the end it’s sad when the reader finds out that the mom has no pulse. I liked how you used those vivid words instead of saying, “she was dead.”
Great Job!
Dear Izaac,
That was a sad story, but it was detailed so I felt as if I were actually there. I hope I can see more of your writing.
Issac! This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad. 😞 Reading this made me want to cry. Is this a true story? Oh, sorry, I forgot cars can’t get on the roof. 🙂 I hope you stay safe, and a car doesn’t go through your roof. Have a great year, century, and life! Make sure to check out my blog. I’m in Mr.DiFiores class.
– Cora C.O
Hey Issac,
You had a really sad story there but it went well with the picture and it was really creative.
Keep up the great work!
-Jimmy, 5th Grade, Illinois, USA
Dear Issac,
You wrote a really sad story, but the amount of detail used was amazing, it made me fell like I was in the crash with you. It seems as though a lot of people are writing sad stories because of what’s going on right now. But we all can do this, it is a team effort, and if we work together, we can save lives. Anyway, Great Job!
Stay Healthy,
Caiden, Grade 5, Illinois, USA
Dear Izaac,
Your story hit me really hard. Your description was amazing and I felt like I was there. Keep on writing!
Dear Izaac,
I have to say, that was one of the saddest, most detailed stories I have ever read for the 100 Word Challenge. You had great description, and the story does a great job transporting you into the story. Keep writing!
Nicholas, Grade 5, Illinois, USA
Wow! This could be a movie. Great job using combination of dialogue, narration, and great adjectives. I love it!