‘Oh no this really can’t be happening!’ says Ciara.
Zoom! I race through the sky with extreme speed, swerving expertly through the white fluffy clouds.
As I approach the house I try to slow down. “Oh no” I mutter “the brakes aren’t working!” panic immediately sets in as I try to somehow stop the car.
I’m heading straight for the roof of my family’s home! I start to yell and scream when suddenly BANG!
I finally come to and I open my eyes, my new flying car has gone straight through my family home!
Immense pain sears through my neck and head. “Oh no, this really can’t be happening!”
CIARA – YEAR 8
I like how you wrote it like it could be a dream, or a funny real life story, the description was very good, and you used sensory details.
Dear Ciara,
The story was very clearly written. It reminded me of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, when Ron and Harry flew the Ford Angela into the Whomping Willow. Your description was wonderfully vivid.
Sincerely, Julia
Hi I’m Mia!
I loved your 100 wc this week! You really showed how awful it would be to crash into your family’s home! I loved how the car was flying.
Great job this week!!!
Nice story! I really like how you used the prompt. Great work!
Dear Ciara,
I love how you used the prompt, it was very creative. You used the events beforehand to explain the picture, which added a lot of creativity, in my opinion. Keep up the good work!
From,
Eileen, Grade 5, Illinois, USA
Dear Ciara,
I really enjoyed reading this story. It was very well written, and it made me think of back to the future with flying cars. (Was that your inspiration)? It was very detailed, and had maxing grammar. This was a very clever way of using the prompt. Why were you driving a flying car? Why not a regular car, or bike, or just walk. Why not other transport methods?
From,
Dylan
Dear Ciara,
I really enjoyed reading this story. It was very well written, and it made me think of back to the future with flying cars. (Was that your inspiration)? It was very detailed, and had maxing grammar. This was a very clever way of using the prompt. Why were you driving a flying car? Why not a regular car, or bike, or just walk. Why not other transport methods?
From,
Dylan
Dear Ciara,
I really loved reading your story! You creatively captured the picture in a story that was full of descriptions. You’re story flowed very well and I could understand it. Writing this prompt and reading other people’s stories really makes me realize how weird it would be to see a car stuck in my neighbors roof!
Wow Ciara! This writing piece is very impressive and well written. The whole story is explained with great detail and figurative language. I love how you rearranged the word differently to make the feelings for the character and events in the story more powerful in meaning, that makes you a more advanced writer. I loved reading this and hope you keep writing this great!
-Lily, grade 5, Illinois
I like your story. Very creative and interesting. It was also very funny.