HERE’S MAISIE’S 100WC
We bumped along the winding road. It was a Saturday night.
Suddenly a car smashes into the side of us. I blackout. After a while, I wake up to hear the sound of beeping. Totally scared, I try to sit up but the pain is too much so I lie back down. A nurse scuttles over to me. I ask her how long I have been here. She says three weeks and that I have been in a coma. I ask what happened.
“Look at this,”
I take the photo. It is my car. It has smashed into someones roof.
MAISIE – YEAR 7
What a terrific bit of writing Masie, well done. I really think you have created a lovely piece here and I particularly like the empty time, the period you were in a coma and then waking up. This is an excellent response to the prompt, very readable and quite original, good work.
Hi Terry
Thanks for the feedback. I quite liked the coma bit as well.
Once again thanks for the feedback.
Maisie
This is a great piece of writing Maisie, I actually can really feel your confusion about what happened and where you are. Well done, love Mum xx