RYIA HAS WRITTEN A THRILLING 100 WORDS.
It was pitch black and only a faint light came from down the corridor.
Icy fingers gripped my arm. I couldn’t move, I was frozen in thought.
I came to my senses to run as fast as I can down to the glimmering light.
Deafening screams echoed through the cold night.
Loud thuds came from behind me as if someone had a broken leg and was failing to walk fast enough. I wandered aimlessly hoping whatever was behind me would give up but as I continued to walk, a cold breath came in front of me.
My heart stopped beating.
RYIA = YEAR 7
I really like this, It has a lot of suspense and to be honest, I really want to see what happens next. Keep up the good work. -Harmony 👍
I think this short story was very interesting and obviously had thought put into it. I would suggest not being so repetitive with the use of the word/letter “I” Other than that, I loved how your story put me on edge as short as it was.
Ryia, your story is so amazing that I have read it several times. I really like your ending and it is like engaging me to read the next story. However, I think you should add some punctuation inside a long sentence, like “I wandered aimlessly hoping whatever was behind me would give up but as I continued to walk, a cold breath came in front of me.”. In this sentence, it is too long and too complex. Try making this like “I wandered aimlessly[,] hoping whatever was behind me would give up[. B]ut as I continued to walk, a cold breath came in front of me.” After that, your story is thrilled and super engaging! Can’t wait to see your next story.