Sophie is just devastated!
“No,” he said, “I like marmite.”…
“Vegemite?”
“No,” he said, “I like Marmite.”
I couldn’t believe a word she told me any more, I thought she knew me, I thought she changed!
“I TRUSTED YOU!” he screamed, tears welling in his raging eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, a blank expression filling her face, “Once an Australian always an Australian.”
I couldn’t believe it! How DARE she be so unfazed!
I stormed out of the room, angry and hurt, but most of all disgusted in her choice.
I arrived at my house, running into my kitchen and began sobbing uncontrollably into my extra large bottle of Marmite.
Hello Sophie, what a great story! You have been able to show real emotion in the story and engage your reader. You have chosen some really descriptive words to provide detail for the reader. Words like “unfazed”, “whispered” and “stormed” work really well. I particularly like your description of crying; tears welling…sobbing uncontrollably. Well done.
Hi Sophie great job using complicated words that make your story pop! Keep it up!