ARABELLA’S 100WC
I start climbing a mountain but as I go higher, the darker it goes. So I stop for a rest.
I soon realised that I should have brought a tent. I try to sleep on the hard stone but it’s no use. I sit down on a tree branch and listen and read my book but I couldn’t, as the deafening screams echoed through the cold night.
Yes it was cold, yes it was dark but that was okay because I had a plan to get to the top and I will not give up. I shivered all night long.
ARABELLA – YEAR 6
Dear Arabella,
I loved the descriptive words that you used to describe the mountain at night. This story reminded me of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when Harry Potter and Hermione were trying to survive on cold nights, while looking for the Horcruxes.
Sincerely Julia
Hi, Arabella!
I loved your prompt! It was funny that you forgot your tent. I love how you don’t pinpoint what the screams are or where they are coming from- it makes the reader think. Keep up the great work!
-Jimmy, Grade 5, Illinois, USA
Dear Arabella,
Great job this week! Your story was very mysterious, with a touch of horror and that feeling that makes a shiver go up your spine. I could feel the worry and anxiety you had while climbing this mountain. Saying that you tried to stop and read but you couldn’t concentrate was a key detail to the effect the reader gets, so fantastic job! Keep writing!
Nicholas, Grade 5, Illinois, USA
Dear Arabella,
Your story was amazing! I really liked how you included the prompt in your story. Keep writing!
-Lexi
Mia
I loved your story! It would have been terrifying hearing screams all around you! I would have ran for home, but I like how you stuck with it and reached the top!
Arabella,
Your piece is well-written. I like the way you repeated the phrase: Yes it was… It gave emphasis and strengthened the character in my mind. Keep writing.
Mrs. G., Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA